Tag Archives: tomfoolery

Modern Publishing Blues, Vol. 01

UGG!!!
/pounds head on desk 3Xs …

TRY IT! … it feels great when you stop.

Yesterday — late in the afternoon — I jammed to the library as closing time quickly approached ….
MY MISSION:  Upload the updated manuscript for my book in preparation for the Flash Sale I plan to hold late this month.

My debut recipe book, “Make Your Own Darn Good Cookies“, published on 26Oct2018.  For the past year I’ve stayed staunchly attentive for any and all errors to be found in my tome of tasty treats.  Yesterday was the big day!  Yesterday was when I fixed my inexact “exactally”.  Yesterday was when I fixed all the metric mistakes caused by my careless copy-&-pasting.  Yesterday was when I deleted the asterisk that lead*.  Yesterday was when I atoned for the flour mis-measurement in my Peanut Butter Biscotti recipe.  It was also when I changed the cover from gloss to matte, which is supposed to have better market appeal, but in the big picture that really isn’t a big deal.
*to nowhere.

What … you don’t dress like this when you go to the library?!?

The clock was ticking close to 5PM.  The lethargic upload status on my computer screen predicted completion on a Tuesday following infinity.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!!

I successfully uploaded my mitigated manuscript to (click here to read about The Amazon River) and skated out the doors right as the learned establishment was closing.  Oh yes, I avoided the wrath of the Library Aids who had to work on a Sunday.  Indiana Jones himself couldn’t have done better!

Returning home, I couldn’t have been more calm … cool … and collect.  I donned my Keds and cardigan sweater, and settled in for some dinner accompanied by the next DVD in my TBW stack.  As the screen flickered in front of my face I found myself content … serene … one with myself and at peace in the universe …  Fred Rogers himself couldn’t have done better!

AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!!

No good deed goes unpunished.  My phone gave a ding indicating a new email.  It was from (click here to read about The Amazon River).  Surely not a big deal, they’re just messaging me to say that my corrected manuscript had gone through and the new version of my book had launched …

NOPE!

Okay, I’m tired of this blog post — it’s been fun, but I suspect it’s dragging on for you, too — so I’ll cut to the chase…

My local tribe of Library Aids ….. what, you don’t believe me?!?

It seems (click here to read about The Amazon River) has one problem or another with my book.  I’m not clear what it is, and from their emails I’m not entirely sure that they are either.  I’m doing what I can to get my book relaunched before they said they might take it down all together.  I’ve emailed them, I’ve chatted with online help, and I’ve called them.  I’m about to go outside to launch a carrier pigeon followed by starting a smoke-signal fire while Library Aids play their tribal drums (recent photo above).  I’m doing everything I can to cooperate with (click here to read about The Amazon River) and get things back on track.  I am frustrated but optimistic that they are working to this end, too.

ALL THAT SAID …

IT IS MY SINCERE HOPE that all of this tomfoolery is worked out before the Flash Sale I’ve planned to hold — which is coming up SOON!  If you want to get in on my Flash Sale — GREATPlease Email Me ASAP 🙂  If you’re not familiar with what a Flash Sale is, it’s like this ….. I’ll message you and let you know  when the secret sale time will be.  During that limited time the price of my book will be greatly reduced.  In return, I ask that you read my book and post a review on the site you bought it from — hopefully a positive reviewIt’s that simple!

… Don …

PS — What a waste of time … I really don’t need extra headaches.  It was not my intention to start an international incident and offend The Gods Of (The Amazon River).  When this is all done I might be impeached.

PPS — According to Wikipedia “The Amazon River in South America is the largest river by discharge volume of water in the world, and by some definitions it is the longest.”